Most of us mainly think with a mixture of images or pictures coupled with the things we say to ourselves and it is this mental activity that is one of the main generators of our feelings and emotions.
Become aware of your thoughts and you can begin to manage them which means you can directly influence how you feel and how you behave. We have been talking to ourselves continually since we learned to speak which means we have been programming our behaviours all our life. And because this process have been going on for so long, there are many people who are even unaware of this continual internal dialogue that goes on and on inside each and every one of us.
Start to notice what you say to yourself and how you say it and you will also start to notice how the things you say dictate your life. Do you constantly criticise yourself? Do you constantly criticise others? Or complain about your life, your failings, or how life ‘treats’ you? Or do you internally rant about the injustices of life?
The things we say to ourselves not only programs our behaviour but also generates self limiting beliefs – things we believe about ourselves that limits our potential such as “I’m too old” or “I could never do that” or ‘I’m not clever enough” or “I can’t cope with this”. And, if constantly saying these things builds the belief that it is true, then constantly saying nice things about yourself will build a nice belief.
Imagine your best friend walking next to you all day, every day, constantly whispering in your ear the sort of things you continually tell yourself. How long would you put up with it. How long before you told them where to go! And yet, you have been accepting those same comments from yourself for years without question – and that’s a form of verbal bullying isn’t it?
And, because you are doing this to yourself and have probably been running such mental ‘programs’ since childhood you may no longer be consciously aware of the things you tell yourself. And, as a result, they have had a powerful impact on your mood, your beliefs and your attitude towards yourself and towards life itself for some considerable time.
Our negative self-talk reduces our quality of live, it diminishes our joy. And because we are so used to it we don’t consciously pay attention to it and so tend not challenge it. It goes on and on in the background and the end result is that we are giving ourselves powerful post hypnotic suggestions to feel bad about things or to fail at things.
The first objective in gaining control of our self talk is to become consciously aware of the things we say to ourselves. So, to start…
Write down each of your thoughts or feelings that go though your mind over the next few minutes. After an hour or so, do it again. Write down those passing thoughts several times a day. Then, in the evening, read back those thoughts. And you might be surprised to notice the total chaos going on in your mind which, for a lot of people, just goes on & on. And remember, there is no such thing as a throw-away line. Everything you say or think has a price. So, for a better quality of life, for a better experience of life this crazy thinking has to stop!
Now that you are becoming aware of the type of things you say to yourself you are better able to challenge them, to ask “Is that true?” and if it isn’t then change it to something more honest, something more positive. Q) How many thoughts can you think at the same time? A) Just the one. So, if we can only think one thought at a time then why not pick a nice one?